Desk entropy

I would like to use this opportunity to provide evidence for Jorge Cham's hypothesis of desk entropy:

Ho: Desk entropy increases as the length of PhD candidature increase.


To support this theory, I present my evidence:

Subject 1
Name: Michael
Length of candidature: 1 week.

Subject 2

Name: Carola
Length of candidature: don't even ask

Concussion: Desk entropy exist!

Other considerations: Some scholars argue that desk entropy is not a characteristic of PhD students only, but that it manifest itself on all people working in an academic environment. To test this hypothesis I was going to take a picture of the office of a new academic such as Bruce Doran and compared it with a picture of the office of someone who has been working in academia for many years. However, I was afraid to enter John Field's office just in case I was killed by a falling forlder containing a student assignment from 1983.

Reducing pen loss hazards...

After discussing this with other students, I arrived to the conclusion that academic supervisors, and academics in general, tend to absent-mindedly "misplace" the pen that you just lent them in the front pocket of their shirts. Particularly if this is your last pen and

i) you are very busy and can't afford the time to walk to the union,
ii) don't have cash on you to buy a new one, or
iii) you are somewhere where you can't get another pen (like the last writing workshop that I attended where my neighbouring fellow workshop participant took my pen placed it in his bag. To his credit, he returned it at the end of the workshop two days later).

But never despair. I have deviced a system to prevent this from happening ever again. Just use one of these selected pens:

The classic: Even the most absent minded supervisor will
realised that there is a big feather sticking out of his pocket.
If this fails, use:

The Giant: It will not fit on his/her pocket. But, if
for some fashion accident it does, try:

The fluffy: The selection of bright colours will draw
attention to the fact that a foreign pen is sitting
in the supervisors pocket.

The big bird: If even the bright colours fail this will
draw the attention of the 2 year old son/daughter.

The embarrassing: Your supervisor is guaranteed to notice that
no one takes him/her seriously at the next academic meeting
because there is a teddy bear picking out of his/her pocket.

The Black-Mailer: If everything else fails let your supervisor know what
will happen to him/her if she/he insists on pocketing your pens
(after the final drafts of your work are corrected with your pen
of course).

AND FINALLY A WORD OF CAUTION:
Never, ever use the pen below as you will never
see it again...